being a zoomer is HARD its hard and nobody understands

no but actually is it not fucked up that my generation has spent so much of our lives in front of a screen instead of actually living???

sometimes ill see comments on music i listen to (mostly stuff thats 20+yrs old) and the comments will be like "yeaaa this brings me back to the good ol days... of going to parties and hooking up with HOTTIES and skateboarding and moshing and there was no EVIL PHONES either" then i start thinking about how ive done exactly um. none of those things. and how smartphones have been mainstream since i was like... 10 or so. ill never know an adult life without them.

like im almost at my mid 20s now and im thinking of what ive done with my early 20s and its literally a whole bunch of nothing besides boring life progression quests like college, jobs, taking care of my family, whatever. not that those things dont have value but im starting to get really freaked out by how badly ive missed and am missing the "normal" social life milestones. being a ruralshit and a huge autist obviously doesnt help. i didnt even realize until i was like 10 that some people.. live near things?? and can just go and walk to them? everything here is like a 25 minute drive away at least. like wtf. i literally cant even imagine it. its actually so fucked up and evil how small my world is god i need to move away asap.

okay anyways i have some cool video game related stuff coming in the mail so ill probably post about that soon. maybe ill stop being an emo in the near future too. le sigh

i feel so lost recently

updating this website would be a lot easier if i was a happier person. everything would be a lot easier.

just one thing to look forward to. would help

im starting to understand why people get addicted to buying things.

theres supposed to be a big winter storm soon and im nervous (´･ω･`) ... hopefully the power doesnt go out, but who knows

ive been trying to draw daily and also ive been on my JP studies again. im a bit worried about burning out ;-; but i hope i can keep this up. i feel so productive tbh... the cintiq is also fucking awesome and im having so much fun with it. display tablets are actually such a huge buff to drawing its crazy. especially for lineart- which i used to hate but with this display its so much easier?? i see why almost everybody uses a one (or an ipad) now lmao

i really really like pathologic 3 so much so far aghhhh i cant even put it into words!!!! like i was so worried it would be mediocre but its really good so far and im just really happy... im not gonna spoil anything but..!!!!!

ok tbh i dont remember if i posted my dankovsky yume art anywhere e_e but i did quite a lot last year... he's so well written here ahhHhhh i love him so much. i love how much he suffers too, male characters who suffer a lot are the best... like you can literally make him commit suicide and his mental state is constantly fucked up its really great. (wow i sound kinda evil LMAO)

also the stamatwins are featured again and i missed them so much... they havent had a spotlight since the first game ;_; last year i made this little stand of them and put it on my shelf. tfw ur favs are so obscure you have to make merch out of cardstock </3 well, it still makes me smile when i look at it so its a win in my book.

i start my last semester of my associates tomorrow and im really not looking forward to it >_>